When a person first asks you a question, are they just testing to see if you can be trusted?
Yes, a person's first question isn't really the question. Their first question is kind of like tossing the tennis ball into the air. It's a practice swing. They're just testing to see if I am listening to them or not.So I make a habit of following up the first question with a question of my own: "Can you give me an example of that? When did that last happen to you? What effect has that had on you?" When I do that, I find that I hear them better.If I answer too quickly, my odds of providing a good answer diminish. Sometimes people don't want an answer; they just want to be heard. They just need to get something off their chests.I heard a counselor once say, "Try to find the question behind the question." That's good advice for pastors. Even when people come at you and they're a bit antagonistic, I'll sometimes be so bold as to say, "Now, what's the question behind this question? What do you really want to talk about?"
Tuesday, August 02, 2011
Lucado: questions
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4 comments:
Now I will worry what my minister is thinking is the question I'm asking when I ask a question, just in case I didn't realise that the question I am asking is not really the question I want to ask, despite not having thought about anything else very much!
You're safe. Anyone who knows you well knows pretty much what quantity of thinking is going on in there...
MMMmm.. How do i respond to that. It is probably true to say I've always been a Wooster to your Jeeves, Badger!
Very good, sir.
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