There is a natural tendency to be fearful about talking to people who have been through trauma. For me, it was so encouraging to receive a card or have someone tell me they were praying for me. Those things are helpful. Even today, when someone says, "I still miss Fred," that is huge to me. Those moments are God ordained.
Every time someone has come up to me, emotionally present and honest, it has been helpful. Don't worry about saying the wrong thing or trying to make me feel better. You can't.There is no such thing as making me feel better, and there is no way you could make it worse, so just be present and honest.
When people don't open up to me, then I don't get the chance to open up to them, and it perpetuates the separation, the distance.
Cindy Winters, wife of Pastor Fred Winters who was killed in a random shooting one Sunday morning. Leadership
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